Isn't it ironic? Not the Alanis Morisette unfortunate kind of ironic but the dictionary version of ironic.
When we first arrived here at Bagram we attended a briefing conducted by the 455th Air Expeditionary Wing Commander, Brigadier General Steven Kwast. As you would expect the General is a great public speaker. His speech covered the aspects of combat preparedness, from technical proficiency to mental and physical readiness. He stressed the importance of doing every task by the book, complete adherence to Air Force Instructions and Technical manuals. To him, not only was there an enemy lurking in the surrounding mountains but anyone on the installation that used the phrase "don't worry about the book, we are at war" was to be counted as an enemy. And then as in so many speeches I got caught up in a single statement..."Now we are going to conduct a PT assessment; but we do it a little different here.".....But what about AFI 10-248 Air Force Fitness Program. I guess that one doesn't fall under the previous "we do everything by the book" policy. One speech, one ironic contradiction.
This place is a hot bed of irony, and not just the micro managers that talk about empowerment. One of the Staff Sergeants that works for me is in the middle of a divorce. In a shining example of irony this person purchased a passive aggressive self-help book and had it delivered to the soon to be ex. I might need that book, but then I might not write these posts.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
It's all about image
As some of you already know, I am deployed to Afghanistan right now. I'm in the Air Force so the danger level is relatively low. Even so, the weeks leading up to the deployment were filled with training classes and equipment issue. We were issued the latest digital camouflage the Air Force has, body armor, helmets, cold weather gear, anti malaria medications and various bug repellents. We received refresher training in self-aid buddy care, CPR, IED recognition, basic assault tactics, Humvee operation and much more.
We travelled for a couple of days, anxious to get into "the action". That last flight into Bagram was a quiet one. Upon arriving we took care of some administrative stuff then got our room assignments. After settling into our rooms a little we made our way to the dining facility. All branches of the military are present here on Bagram Airfield and we are all required to carry a weapon everywhere but the gym and shower. We filled our trays and walked towards the drinks passing Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen armed with anything from 9mm pistols to M249 machine guns. As we reached the drink cooler I realized I was under prepared. All that gear, all that training, there is no way to look tough while drinking from a juice box. The automatic weapon in your lap won't save your image from the bendy straw in your box of milk.
We travelled for a couple of days, anxious to get into "the action". That last flight into Bagram was a quiet one. Upon arriving we took care of some administrative stuff then got our room assignments. After settling into our rooms a little we made our way to the dining facility. All branches of the military are present here on Bagram Airfield and we are all required to carry a weapon everywhere but the gym and shower. We filled our trays and walked towards the drinks passing Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen armed with anything from 9mm pistols to M249 machine guns. As we reached the drink cooler I realized I was under prepared. All that gear, all that training, there is no way to look tough while drinking from a juice box. The automatic weapon in your lap won't save your image from the bendy straw in your box of milk.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Rabbit Hole
Earlier this evening I scrolled through FoxNews.com, or as I like to refer to it FauxNews. I like their site for the same reason I like horror movies, that skin-crawling feeling can be addictive, and I enjoy the challenge to my own political views. My affinity for train wrecks aside, a few of the headlines were running through my head as I went to change into my comfy pants. Suddenly I had a revelation. Is it odd that that happens a lot when I have no pants on? Anyway, follow me down this rabbit hole.
The big scary President Obama speech has come and gone, it turned out to be much ado about nothing. But just for fun let's pretend that it happened very differently. What if the President came out and gave the most liberal speech ever heard. Let's say the entirety of the speech was socialist indoctrination. Focusing on the speech and not the actual implementation of these political viewpoints, why all the fear? Do the parents that were opposed believe that their own teachings can be undone in a single speech. Are radical leftist ideas so catchy that conservative parents would not be able to bring their children back to the fold. Is there a fear that they would not be able to support their own beliefs well enough to relay them to their children.
Isn't isolation from differing viewpoints a cult indoctrination technique? Using indoctrination to avoid indoctrination. How do you know when you succeed?
“The opposition is indispensable. A good statesman, like any other sensible human being, always learns more from his opponents than from his fervent supporters.”
Walter Lippmann
The big scary President Obama speech has come and gone, it turned out to be much ado about nothing. But just for fun let's pretend that it happened very differently. What if the President came out and gave the most liberal speech ever heard. Let's say the entirety of the speech was socialist indoctrination. Focusing on the speech and not the actual implementation of these political viewpoints, why all the fear? Do the parents that were opposed believe that their own teachings can be undone in a single speech. Are radical leftist ideas so catchy that conservative parents would not be able to bring their children back to the fold. Is there a fear that they would not be able to support their own beliefs well enough to relay them to their children.
Isn't isolation from differing viewpoints a cult indoctrination technique? Using indoctrination to avoid indoctrination. How do you know when you succeed?
“The opposition is indispensable. A good statesman, like any other sensible human being, always learns more from his opponents than from his fervent supporters.”
Walter Lippmann
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Questions Part 1
I was recently asked a question by a staff member at a local alterations shop that stopped me dead in my tracks. I had dropped off a backpack to have my last name embroidered on it. When I arrived home there was a voice mail from the alterations shop asking if I “wanted the apostrophe at the top or bottom of the O.” I stood there composing myself for the phone call I was about to make. I had also dropped a uniform shirt off to be taken in at the waist; rather than risk the safety of that shirt I simply asked that they put the apostrophe at the top between the O and the R.
Later that evening my headache had subsided and I was mowing the lawn when I realized, I get a lot of questions that make my head hurt. So I decided to write some of them down so other people might want to shove a pen in their eye. One of these questions happened back in 1994.
I was a young Airman stationed at Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska. I was in the middle of a background investigation for my security clearance. Since the Air Force didn’t have any history on me yet, I was required to have a psychological evaluation. The evaluation consisted of an interview with a military psychologist. It sounded simple enough.
The questions were all pretty easy, until it happened. “Do you hear voices that aren’t there?” Uh oh, I could feel the smart ass welling up inside. How do you answer that question? It’s phrased as a closed ended, yes or no question. But even with two answers, there are four possibilities. Either answer could be taken as sane or as crazy. I could answer “Yes I hear voices, I am completely bat shit crazy” or “Yes, I hear voices, but I know they aren’t real people so I’m kinda sane right?” I could answer “No, I am perfectly sane” or “No, I believe the voices that tell me sculpt yard gnomes out of used cat litter are REAL people.”
As I pondered my choices, the doctor looked up and I realized that I might be thinking too much about the question. I never saw the results of the test but I’m either sane or I’m the kind of crazy they were looking for.
Later that evening my headache had subsided and I was mowing the lawn when I realized, I get a lot of questions that make my head hurt. So I decided to write some of them down so other people might want to shove a pen in their eye. One of these questions happened back in 1994.
I was a young Airman stationed at Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska. I was in the middle of a background investigation for my security clearance. Since the Air Force didn’t have any history on me yet, I was required to have a psychological evaluation. The evaluation consisted of an interview with a military psychologist. It sounded simple enough.
The questions were all pretty easy, until it happened. “Do you hear voices that aren’t there?” Uh oh, I could feel the smart ass welling up inside. How do you answer that question? It’s phrased as a closed ended, yes or no question. But even with two answers, there are four possibilities. Either answer could be taken as sane or as crazy. I could answer “Yes I hear voices, I am completely bat shit crazy” or “Yes, I hear voices, but I know they aren’t real people so I’m kinda sane right?” I could answer “No, I am perfectly sane” or “No, I believe the voices that tell me sculpt yard gnomes out of used cat litter are REAL people.”
As I pondered my choices, the doctor looked up and I realized that I might be thinking too much about the question. I never saw the results of the test but I’m either sane or I’m the kind of crazy they were looking for.
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